I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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