I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
