I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
FUCK WHALES
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
