So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
