..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
