Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Small penises have feelings too.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
