so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
