Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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