Girls should come with a carfax report
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
