What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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