You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
