Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
