I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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