Little spoons don't ask big questions
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
