What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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