i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
