Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
