I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
