This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All the doctor said was why
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
