I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
