is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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