none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
