i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
