Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
