i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
