Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
