you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
