i don't plan on having that self control this summer
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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