She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
BRING THE BAGELS
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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