I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize