i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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