Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
