thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
