At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
