he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
