she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
