Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Randomize
