i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
