i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
