So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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