yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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