I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
