i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
