doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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