one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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