I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
