its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
