I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
