And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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