I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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