my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
