My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
