I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
