New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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